Today, I decided that I would like to try a more meditative style of yoga practice. So rather than doing that actual movements, I settled to putting myself in Full Lotus position and putting on my timer for 45 minutes. A lot of the yoga I've tried so far mostly focuses on the sequences and fitness, especially Bikram and Iyengar yoga. I haven't been having particularly the best mental health as of recently because of just life happening too fast, so I wanted to slow my mind down and focus completely on healing mentally today. 
Yoga as a healing practice in the sense that Iyengar and Bikram talk about is focused so much on healing of the body. Which I think is definitely important because my body does need healing, and healing the body also helps heal the mind. Yet, the meditation I did today helped me clear my mind at the same time as being aware of the stretching pain in my legs from sitting in lotus position for so long. It's the good kind of pain though, and it helped me get my mind of the stressors of every day life as I focused on the world around me rather than my own thoughts. I can't lie however saying that it wasn't difficult getting to the point where I could clear my head of thoughts. It took about 10 minutes for me to genuinely feel as if I was focused solely on the meditation, and I don't think people really get the full benefits of meditating until they allow their own thoughts to melt away. 
This meditation that I underwent does make me feel like I was healing. It made me feel calm, and proud of myself. I wish to apply this feeling of mediation to my yoga sequences too. I've spoken of this before, but I think me committing myself to the full time of mediating is what truly makes me proud of myself, because I struggle with pushing myself harder during our regular yoga practices. I want that change, and I also think I'm going to start incorporating meditation into my daily life, and hopefully I'll start feeling more inspired to practice sequences too. Part of me is disheartened by the capitalist takeover of yoga, especially with learning how capitalist Iyengar yoga is, which was the practice that I liked most so far. It claimed healing and I'm sure it does help heal muscles, but something about it just feels almost fraudulent next to Ashtanga  which is much less money oriented. 

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